Rob Befumo: I Made a Promise to Myself
June 1, 2018
I am a survivor. Everyone has a reason to be competing in The D10...this is mine. Helping raise funds for Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC), the hospital that treated me, makes it special. For you to truly understand the impact The D10 and MSKCC has had on my life, I would like to share my story.Nothing could be harder than listening to a doctor tell you that you have cancer. Besides it clearly being a life changing moment, it comes with so many unknowns. There I am thinking I'm a tough 30-something who's in good shape. And then this. Emotions were raging like wildfire, and I'm sitting there thinking, Now what? Looking back I feel that I was lucky that this happened at MSKCC, one of the preeminent cancer hospitals in the world. They had a plan for me, and all I had to do was stick to it.
There really wasn't much time to think about it all. Surgery was a couple of days later followed shortly by 20 sessions of chemotherapy which lasted about 3 months. Treatment would last all morning and then I would head to work. That was my new "normal." Like a lot of things in life, it's grinding. My body was experiencing so much change both physically and mentally in such a short time. All of this was then followed by a much more major surgery to remove enlarged lymph nodes, and that had me in the hospital for a week.
While it's true that all I had to do was stick to a plan, I did experience bumps in the road. It's just the reality of cancer. Complications happen, the plan changes a little, and I continued to follow the doctors' lead. Late night visits to their urgent care center with my wife were sometimes scary and then became more routine. Your tolerance for things changes significantly, and you yearn for the days when all you felt was tired from a long day at work or a tough workout at the gym.
Shortly after it was over I received the best news any doctor could say to a patient: "You are cancer free!" About 7 months from when it all started...I was then just getting back to my old life.
So, here I am 6 years later and I just completed my 5th D10. Being a part of this event for the last 5 years was very instrumental in getting back to the 'old Rob' that I used to be. I first heard about the event one day at work. I had just returned from treatment, and there was a segment on CNBC. I said to the guy sitting next to me that I would love to do that. I'm thinking this is a great way to give back to MSKCC and at the same time get back in shape and feel good about myself again. I wasn't overweight, or extremely out of shape, but treatment affected a lot of things. My friend looked at me and said "yeah," clearly thinking that chemotherapy got to my brain also. Regardless, I made a promise to myself to compete in the following year's event.
When I was first diagnosed I didn't want to tell anyone except my wife. I thought that could work until I heard about more changes my body would be going through, like losing my hair. For whatever reason, I didn't want people to worry about me or feel bad for me. Looking back I'm glad I did tell people, because the support I received from family and friends was tremendous and it proved to be the right move. Fast forward a year later, and I'm talking to Dave from The D10 and he has me booked for a spot on The Today Show with former Olympic champion Dan O'Brien. There I am going from contemplating not telling anyone to now telling the world. That first year in the D10 was a huge step for me in no longer feeling like a recovering patient - instead I'm a guy on Wall Street raising money for a cause close to my heart.
This was the first time I ever raised money for a cause, and it was welcomed by all. I raised over $18,000 in year one, crushing any goals that I initially set. For those of you new at this or those who are uncertain on how to raise funds, remember that sadly most people are affected by cancer. People are happy to donate to such a worthwhile charity and even more so to one that focuses on children.
Over the years I have gotten to know the doctors and staff who are benefiting from the fundraising, and it reminds me of the same compassionate and driven people that were taking care of me. There is so much good that happens there everyday, but at the same time a lot of anguish. I saw a lot during my various stays at the hospital. I'm living proof that great strides are being made in the fight, but there is still a lot of work to be done. If you are reading this it's likely you have some affiliation with The D10 as either a competitor or a donor. Without people like you that have helped to fund cancer research over the past few decades, I might not be here, plain and simple.
For me this cause will always be important, but one thing that being sick and in need has taught me is that's important to give back. Sometimes you need to go to that place to get to this one. My diagnosis wasn't all bad news. You learn a lot about yourself, and understand the limits that you can withstand both physically and mentally. Would I reverse my scenario if I could? Sure, but at the same time if it was going to happen to anyone, I would prefer it happen to me. I could never imagine a child going through all of this.
For me this cause will always be important, but one thing that being sick and in need has taught me is that's important to give back. Sometimes you need to go to that place to get to this one. My diagnosis wasn't all bad news. You learn a lot about yourself, and understand the limits that you can withstand both physically and mentally. Would I reverse my scenario if I could? Sure, but at the same time if it was going to happen to anyone, I would prefer it happen to me. I could never imagine a child going through all of this.
I'm on the cusp of bringing my fundraising total to over $100,000, and I couldn't be more proud of what The D10 and my own personal fundraising have accomplished. For those of you who are still fundraising, don't forget The D10 motto.....BRING IT.
I know I did.
A version of this post originally ran in August 2017. In 2018, Rob has pushed his fundraising total for Memorial Sloan Kettering well past $100,000, and he's still going strong. Help Rob make a difference: Donate here.
I know I did.
A version of this post originally ran in August 2017. In 2018, Rob has pushed his fundraising total for Memorial Sloan Kettering well past $100,000, and he's still going strong. Help Rob make a difference: Donate here.